What if women ruled the world?

An end to abuse, a law against mansplaining, and reparations for two millennia of injustice as a new sci-fi art show imagines a female-led future, we ask comedians, writers, politicians and CEOs for their vision

Somethings not working at the moment

Bridget Christie, comedian

Kim Jong-un and Donald Trump are threatening to nuke each other. The UK has had four terror attacks in four months. David Cameron called the EU referendum, lost, resigned, said: Dum de dum de dum, then retreated to his 25,000 sheepskin-insulated manshed at the bottom of his garden to eat artisanal cheese. The man who sold me my bicycle refused to put the basket on it because he thought it was a girls job.

We dont know what the world would look like if women ruled it, but somethings not working at the moment. While we cant say for certain that women would make a better fist of it, or behave any better, what we do know is that when women are in leadership positions, or involved in decision-making, societies work better. There is less violence and instability and more peace.

If women were in charge, I doubt that eight men would have the same wealth as the poorest 50% of the worlds population. Eight! Ive had more people on my trampoline at once. When a group of men whose combined wealth equals that of 3.6 billion people can comfortably frolic together on one trampoline, its time for a leadership change.

Women would never be the victim

Marina Abramovi, artist

If women ruled the world, they would stop being fragile, they would stop being dependent, they would never be the victim, they would never be abused. I want women to be warriors. When women are free and happy, they will know how to rule the world.

Reproductive sexual difference remains the villain of the piece

Rachel Holmes, biographer of Sylvia Pankhurst

Supremacy based on gender has never been an attractive idea and patriarchal dystopias are no longer in an imagined future, or long buried past, but part of our present. Patriarchy makes us equal in one way, though: men are as arrested in their development as women. Given the challenges of being in charge, youd think they would be more than happy to hand over the headache and see what difference having women in charge makes.

Tory women prime ministers make no difference, because a system that is fundamentally based on the principle of unequal power relationships cannot, by definition, make us equal. Promoting the F-word without challenging the C-word has never worked: it is not possible to achieve the aims of feminism within the capitalist system. Our feminist foremothers warned us of this. Where weve got to so far is largely based on a limited agenda of establishing so-called womens rights within stunted liberal democracies.

People take hope and even experience some freedom in successfully challenging the pantomime binaries of masculinity and femininity. But reproductive sexual difference remains the villain of the piece. If women are to rule the world and make a difference, we either need to overhaul the social and economic system of reproductive exploitation (on which the system was built), or take control of the re-engineering of human design that is already under way.

We should design a reparations scheme that reorganises parental and family responsibilities in such a way that men have the opportunity to pay women back for the last two millennia the incentive being the universally agreed cultural value that raising families brings joy. The first job of the woman in charge is to liberate the men.

Men kill more people than women

Shazia Mirza, comedian

Thered be less violence, wed get things done quicker and we would solve a lot of problems by chatting instead of bombing. We would think rationally. People think: Oh, women cant make decisions when its the time of the month and all that, but I think were very decisive. We dont waste any time and we would do things a lot cleaner and a lot quicker. There would be fewer people dying if women were in charge. Its a fact: men kill more people than women.

Historically, women in power out-men the men

Louise Doughty, novelist

Im not a fan of biological determinism, even when its working in womens favour so Im not sure I subscribe to the idea that women are innately caring and collegiate and men thrusting and ambitious. Ive lost track of the number of times Ive watched mothers coo over their daughters cuddling baby dolls, praise them for it, then declare that caring skills are instinctive for girls.

Historically, what weve seen is that when women achieve power in a mans world, they often out-men the men. Margaret Thatcher was famous for rarely promoting other women. She got off on being the only woman in the room and didnt want any competition. Nothing is more depressing than a successful woman who wants to score points for being the only one among the boys reinforcing, rather than challenging, their views of other women.

So if you really wanted to see whether there is a difference in the way women would rule the world, you would have to have either all-female rulers or a critical mass. But, ultimately, Im resistant to the idea of lumping us all together on the basis of gender: what about race, class, sexual orientation? Even men I like are fond of saying women this or women that as if we are all one amorphous mass. Im instinctively resistant to binaries. Hooray for ambiguity, nuance and complexity.

Women are taking their rightful place as equals

Caroline Lucas MP, co-leader of Green party

Having women in power makes a real difference. As the number of woman MPs has increased in the Commons, weve seen major steps forward in tackling gender discrimination. Women leaders in business make a difference too: helping firms embrace modern ideas like flexible working and job sharing.

Green politics has a history of woman leaders, from the inspirational Petra Kelly in Germany, to Vandata Shiva. Im proud to be part of a movement thats had women at the top table. Of course, having female leaders isnt an end in itself. Its part of a broad movement that sees women taking their rightful place as equals at every level in society.

Unseen female executives mobilise other women

Sarah Sands, editor of Today programme Radio 4

It is often the unseen women, the executives, who have an opportunity to mobilise and encourage other women. Four inspirations from my own career: Clare Hollingworth, the woman who got the scoop of the century about the outbreak of the second world war. I met her when I was deputy editor of the Daily Telegraph, and she assumed I was the editors secretary, which amused me. She was a woman of her time, a pioneer rather than a reformer. Marie Colvin, the Sunday Times reporter, was sisterly as well as brave. Genevieve Cooper was deputy editor of the Evening Standard when I joined. I was a 24-year-old single mother and my male boss asked me how I could guarantee that a baby would not interfere with my work. I was so fearful that, when my small son was in hospital, I commuted between his ward and work, inventing excuses to leave the office rather than admit that I had a seriously ill child. Genevieve rescued me. At the Guardian, the late Georgina Henry showed that you could have vision and authority without losing your humanity. She was a top-notch female boss.

Oppression will not cease to exist simply because a woman is in charge

June Eric-Udorie, editor of intersectional feminism anthology to be published by Virago UK and Penguin US in 2018

If you run in feminist circles, youre bound to have heard someone declare: Wouldnt the world just be better if more women were in charge? What runs through my mind when I hear this is: Which women? Are we talking about black women, disabled women, trans women? Are we thinking about the women who lie on the margins and the intersections of the feminist movement, or do we just expect them to continue to have little to no power?

The inevitable reality is that the women most likely to have power in a female-run world will be white, middle class, cis, able-bodied and heterosexual. Power structures and other forms of oppression will not cease to exist simply because a woman is in charge. History will remind us of the ways in which white women have exploited and benefited from the oppression of their non-white female counterparts. Taking a closer look at so called feminist victories such as the birth of the contraceptive pill or the suffrage movement will reveal pandemic racism, classism, and other forms of subjugation and oppression.

We need to do away with romanticising matriarchal power and dominance and instead question the ways we can change the problematic and dangerous power structures that operate within society today.

In the peace movement, women are not interested in power over others

Kate Hudson, general secretary of the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament

The peace movement is the place to find powerful women. But theyre not interested in power over others. Instead, they are empowering, inspiring by example, breaking down barriers to thinking, and taking action. Theyre uncompromising, but in a good way. My role models are Pat Arrowsmith, organiser of the first Aldermaston March, who was imprisoned many times for anti-nuclear actions; and Helen John, one of the Greenham Women and an activist at Menwith Hill in Yorkshire. The earth shakes when such women move into action!

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We dont waste time from left, Shazia Mirza, Jayne-Anne Gadhia, Marjane Satrapi, Harriet Harman, Jane Goodall and Sarah Sands.

I dont think anything would change

Marjane Satrapi, author of Persepolis

I dont think anything would change if women had the power. For me, this comes from the idea that men and women are very alike and very equal. I dont think the notion of empathy or being nice depends ongender at all, because if you consider women to be so much nicer, in a way thats to say theyre like nice little animals that cant get angry, and that anger is something for men.

I dont think women write differently from men, or make movies differently. When it comes to physical effort, there is a difference. But when it comes to intellect, people with the same experiences and same sensitivities end up being the same kind of people, regardless of gender.

I am impressed by young womens energy and competence

Penelope Lively, Booker-winning novelist

At 84, I want to celebrate a new generation of women. I have three granddaughters in their 20s, so I meet up with and hear about plenty of young women in that age group. I am constantly impressed by, and rejoice in, their energy and competence. They work their socks off, and assume working life will reward them, but they are flexible and adaptable.

Their assumptions about the role of women, about what women can expect, are very different from those of my generation, from back in the 1950s. We would have been startled to look ahead and see Theresa May and Angela Merkel. The outlook and the performance of todays twentysomething women is heartwarming.

I can think of some vicious, cruel women who have been in power

Dr Jane Goodall, primatologist

I thought about this and the answer is I dont know. It depends which female qualities were talking about, because sometimes one finds that the women who become successful are the ones who develop male-type characteristics. If you could pick women with more compassionate characteristics, then there are men with those characteristics too.

I know its tempting to say that it would be better if more women were doing this and more women were doing that. But I believe power corrupts absolutely. We can think of some extraordinarily vicious, brutal and cruel women who have been in great powerful positions. To me, it just wouldnt make much difference.

All my life experience tells me women make a difference

Frances OGrady, general secretary, Trades Union Congress

Unlike the popular old song, I cant promise that, if women ruled the world, every day would be like the first day of spring. From Margaret Thatcher to Marine Le Pen, womens leadership is no guarantee of kindness or compassion. More women in the boardroom has to be right but, with zero-hours contracts on the up and more real wage cuts in the pipeline, theres scant evidence of benefits trickling down to the shop floor.

And yet. All my life experience tells me that women do make a difference. In the trade union movement, women leaders have exposed the scandal of sexual harassment, campaigned for equal pay, and made caring responsibilities a workplace bargaining issue. As a result, the lives of millions of women and men have changed for the better.

And I like working with other women. Being the only woman in a meeting room full of men, however lovely they are, can feel lonely. Whereas watching other women leaders in action inspires, encourages and strengthens me. As a wise woman once told me, the problem is that women tend to underestimate their abilities whereas too many men overestimate theirs. A false sense of superiority based on gender, race or class is no way to run a cornershop, let alone the country.

There will be no sexual assault, no catcalling, no mansplaining

Sofie Hagen, comedian

First of all, free tampons, legal abortion everywhere, and actual jail sentences given to 100% of rapists instead of the 5% we see today. And hopefully, with the right head-bitch in charge, there would be some kind of limit to how much a man was allowed to interrupt and mansplain.

I imagine we would call it the Law of Sschhh: if a woman says sschhh to a man, he is bound by law to go home and sit down and shut up. Soon, there will be no sexual assault, no catcalling, no mansplaining, no #notallmen.

We would of course have a list of Dudes Who Are All Right, who would get to suggest laws every once in awhile. Justin Trudeau, Jeremy Corbyn, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Sadiq Khan, Channing Tatum. But theyd have to work topless. Its just the law.

Women tend to make more holistic decisions

Maria Balshaw, director of Tate

Women ask questions from a different perspective, which may be because weve been mothers, daughters or sisters. Ive never been a separatist. Im an inclusive feminist, but there is really interesting research that shows women tend to make more holistic decisions and I think thats because the burden of feeding and raising children and looking after the domestic environment falls mostly to them.

Women running the world is neither a utopian nor a dystopian scenario. It really depends on the political thinking that is brought to bear. As women age, our power changes very differently to the way male power changes. As the female leader of a national art museum, I am still highly unusual globally.

It would change the presumption theres someone at home to sort out all the problems

Athene Donald, physicist

Women ruling the world might change the structure of work because, currently, certainly in the developed world, it is the presumption that there is someone back at home to sort out all the problems so its OK to have MPs debating at midnight, and people being sent on to far-flung parts of the world. Our way of working might change if people realised there isnt necessarily someone at home to pick up the pieces.

Its about making men and women equally able to succeed

Jayne-Anne Gadhia, CEO of Virgin Money

I dont think I would like a world ruled by women, if Im honest, any more than I would like a world ruled by men. For me, it is about equality. I would much prefer a world that is properly balanced, in terms of the contributions men and women make to society. Its not about making women the leaders its about making men and women equally able to succeed as leaders. Only 40% of senior roles in financial services are held by women. We definitely need to get closer to 50% to get financial services to a place where theyre going to thrive in a balanced way.

Women ensure sustainability for future generations

Dr Alaa Murabit, UN High-Level Commissioner

I believe that women make more pragmatic decisions and are forward-thinking. They ensure sustainability for future generations. Women at the table will invest heavily in better education, affordable healthcare and access to clean water. Womens empowerment will produce collateral benefits: LGBTQ rights, indigenous peoples rights, childrens rights, religious freedom. Family-friendly policies will be formulated to enable both parents to enjoy the privileges of parenting. Unfair stereotypes and standards imposed upon men to ensure they fit into an iron scaffold of masculinity will be lifted.

I hope to see a world with greater peace and diplomacy, collaboration and cooperation. Women are less likely engage in wars or violence as the protection of families and communities is central to their decision-making. They propel their countries and the world towards socioeconomic success. And they work to promote social justice and inclusion, climate change management and reduced hunger, poverty and inequality.

There are still so many meetings where women are not even in the room

Harriet Harman MP

Its not about leaders and role models. Its about sisterhood and working together. If we only had women MPs, right now Labour would be in government with a huge majority because weve got 119 and the Tories have only got 67. Thats a good reason to have only women MPs.

But what you really want is a balanced team of women and men. There are still so many meetings where women are not even in the room. Although Donald Trump feels like a threat to turn the clock back, I think there is an irresistible force for further change all around the world.

Read more: https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2017/jul/05/what-if-women-ruled-the-world

Tom Green: ‘It demystifies the presidency when you’ve had Trump scream in your face’

The online prankster who got fired by Trump go back to standup and speak about where you fix a limit in funny

T om Green has actually been rapped about by Eminem , fired by Donald Trump and married briefly to Drew Barrymore . He made an outrageous and prominent MTV series ( The Tom Green Show ), along with among the most reviled movies of perpetuity ( Freddy Got Fingered ). He likewise recorded his experience of testicular cancer in a TELEVISION special that didnt blanch at the sight of the cosmetic surgeons scalpel. And it is not simply a figure of speech to state that he has guts countless audiences have actually seen them, unpacked on the operating room throughout surgical treatment to examine his lymph nodes.

Sitting in a London bar, the 45-year-old, 6ft 2in Canadian comic is more reflective than the manic, bug-eyed goofball who made his name in the 1990s. At that time, he blurred the line in between tricks and efficiency art, lurking the streets with baguettes strapped to his head, attending to passing business owners as Mummy or gyrating versus roadkill. It was the roadkill stunt that made him a namecheck from Eminem, who grumbled in The Real Slim Shady: Sometimes I wish to get on TELEVISION and simply let loose, however cant/ But its cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose.

Green drinks his beer. Individuals believed I was entirely nuts, he states in his soft, rumbling voice. Part of the confusion, he believes, can be blamed on the choice to rollover his hysterical personality into talkshow looks. Playing Tom Green rapidly ended up being a tiring full-time task. Id go on The Tonight Show and yell into the electronic camera. I felt the pressure to make myself appear unhinged. I desire individuals to understand that Im not simply this insane individual flailing around. A great deal of idea enters into exactly what I do.

<img class="gu-image"itemprop="contentUrl"alt=
“One” of the most reviled movies of perpetuity green in freddy got fingered.”src=”https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/3575856cc90aa2fcc731a30fb64a985f7791545f/0_11_1992_1195/master/1992.jpg?w=300&q=55&auto=format&usm=12&fit=max&s=03c59c5f75ec86af77578bd06953bc34″/><figcaption class =”caption”caption– img caption caption– img”itemprop=”description”> One of the most reviled movies of perpetuity Green in Freddy Got Fingered. Photo: Chris Helcermanas-Benge/Associated Press

It is for this factor that he bristles when I ask how it felt to be at the leading edge of the 90s wave of gross-out funny. Since that was just one type of funny I did, it troubles me when individuals state shock gross-out or comic. There was trick funny. Man-on-the-street-reaction funny. Aesthetically surreal funny. You do something stunning and that becomes your label. That dead moose, it appears, cast a terribly long shadow.

Just as the goatee and floppy fringe of his 20s have actually been changed by brief hair and a black beard splotched with grey, so the spoofs and tricks have actually paved the way to more fully grown pursuits. He provides an online talk program, Tom Greens House Tonight, from his living space, and has actually made a passionate go back to his standup roots. Im unexpected myself on phase every night, he states.

The product in his existing European trip, he states, is the greatest of his profession. He is still railing versus innovation and social networks among his most inspired current regimens discovers him bent on a stool, limbs pulling back into his body, as he envisions the human kind minimized to 2 muscular, lengthened, quickly flapping text-messaging thumbs.

The brand-new program, he includes, is likewise his most individual. Topics include his fight with cancer and the truth of being 45 and not having kids. Undoubtedly, the present United States president, who fired him from The Apprentice, appear. When youve sat there and had him yell in your face, I talk about how it debunks the presidency. Wow, that people the president? I truly shouldve increased for all those tasks in my life that I never ever felt gotten approved for.

Green savaged Trump in a rap parody in 2015 however the obstacle, he states, is to keep the state of mind inclusive, irrespective of political association. If its hostile and unfavorable for half the audience, then not just is that half not chuckling, theyre not even listening. We take place to be satisfying on the day that a photo emerged of the United States comic Kathy Griffin holding a bloodied Trump mask in a mocked-up decapitation present. Jim Carrey and Alec Baldwin sprang to her defence, however Green sounds a cautionary note. She slipped up. As comics, all of us enter that mode of thinking about the worst thing possible however you generally have the capability to draw back prior to launching it to the world.

It might appear a bit abundant to hear restraint preached by the guy who, in Freddy Got Fingered, bites a children umbilical cable prior to utilizing it to spin the baby around his head, showering the maternity ward with blood. Once again, there is a hidden inflammation to Greens humour. Its essential to bear in mind that he hands the infant adoringly to its mom which Freddy Got Fingered is the story of a male who simply desires his daddy to like him, even if it indicates spraying him with elephant semen. (Green, whose dad was a captain in the Canadian army, calls the motion picture semi-autobiographical.)

The comic enjoyed his very first burst of popularity at the age of 19 in his native Ottawa as part of the rap group Organised Rhyme, where he passed the name MC Bones. When the band was come by their label, he resided in his moms and dads basement creating and shooting progressively enthusiastic funny videos that headed out on a Canadian public gain access to station. Some were basic vox pops; others, such as the trick where he scheduled his daddies automobile to be spray-painted with a specific lesbian sex scene, changing it into the Slutmobile, required intricate levels of preparation.

Much of the humour occurred from the dispute in between these justifications and the basically sensible nature of the Canadian nationwide character, as personified by his long-suffering moms and dads, who turned into one of the topics of his funny (he when woke them up, on video camera, at 3am to require that they view a Bon Jovi video with him) however never ever the butt.

MTV grabbed numerous these trick videos and provided Green his own program. Within weeks, he was fielding calls from Oprah Winfrey, Pepsi and his hero David Letterman. Drew Barrymore asked him to appear with her in Charlies Angels and the set began dating, creating a media storm that withstood throughout their two-year relationship, that included 5 months of marital relationship.

What with the couples divorce at the end of 2001, the prestige of Greens MTV program, the Eminem tune, the cancer medical diagnosis and the furore over Freddy Got Fingered, it felt as if every popular culture news product in the early 2000s focused on him. Its real. A few those things would have sufficed, however every day there was a story about me. When something remains in everybodies deal with, they wish to assault it.

When I ask if there is anything he feels is now neglected about his funny, his ideas go back to those heady early days. When the program headed out on MTV in 1999, we were creating something and aiming to smash TELEVISION conventions. I feel I get credit for that on the street however not in the mainstream. There are billion-dollar franchises that have actually reshot and recreated my product.

I point out Jackass , which was developed by members of his group while he was on hiatus recuperating from cancer, and Sacha Baron Cohen. All sorts of things, yeah, he nods. I was the very first one who put all that together, this guerrilla-sketch-comedy-skateboarder-lifestyle-reality thing, which is basically exactly what YouTube is today. It can be a little aggravating not to obtain credit for that.

Still, theres a sense he might lastly be getting his due. Eric Andre , who has an innovative program on Adult Swim, has actually acknowledged Greens impact. One site just recently called him the initial giant. Even Freddy Gets Fingered is being valued at last for its punk surrealism.

For Green, standup is his future. When Im 65 and still carrying out each week, Id like individuals to state, You understand, when that man was a kid, he made these strange, insane videos? And theyll need to go search for them instead of it being the very first thing they understand about me.

Tom Green is at the Nottingham Glee Club , 13 June. Ticket office: 08714720400. touring .


Read more: https://www.theguardian.com/stage/2017/jun/13/tom-green-comedy-nottingham-glee-club-uk-tour